RIP Hemingway

Hemingway goes in and out of the house as it suits her. Mostly she spends her nights outside, and even in winter, prefers to go outside to do her business and perimeter checks. She's an outdoor cat.

This morning Hemingway wasn't at the backdoor when we let Abby out at breakfast.  In fact I hadn't seen her all morning and was starting to get uneasy when I received THAT phone call around 11am:

Hi is this Melissa Hicks? We tracked you down via the microchip on a little black cat called Hemingway; she'd been hit by a car early this morning. We found her on the the road and took her to our vets. Mary managed to re-start her heart but the damage was too great and she died, I'm sorry.

Why?
Why didn't we see her?
Why did we let her out?
Why her? She's not the sick one! She's not the one we're mentally preparing to lose!
It's not right! It's not fair!

I want a do over button damn it - just to last night.  Just to make sure she would be locked in all night.

She's lived here and spent the nights outside for most of a decade. Why now? Why today? Why ever?

I didn't get a chance to take photos of Hemmy in her older years. Or photos of all three cats together. And now I never will.

Poor mum - just as me and my two invade, she loses her only remaining companion. First Josie (her chihuahua) a couple of years back and now Hemms.

Things Mel Discovered This Week

Things Mel discovered this week:

Sitting down
   (I'm so dizzy, my head is spinning)
Closing my eyes while sitting down
   (like a whirlpool, it never ends)*
Opening my eyes while sitting down
   (Wham - migraine)
Standing up
   (Vertigo is not just the name of a Hitchcock movie)
Bending over
   (how to pass out without alcohol)

Sleeping
   (the knock-me-out drugs are out of my system)
Sleeping in a single bed
   (I forgot how many bits of me could hurt at once)
Sleeping in a single bed with my ample body
   (there is very little room)
Sleeping in a single bed bed with my ample body and a determined geriatric cat
   (did I mention the lack of room - or is this related to the sore body parts)
Sleeping in a single bed with my ample body and a determined geriatric cat and a determined elderly cat discussing dominance issues
   (perhaps sleeping is the wrong word)
Sleeping in a single bed with my ample body and a determined geriatric cat and a determined elderly cat discussing dominance issues on my body
   (oh fer crying out loud!) **

Are there too many ads on daytime TV?
   (don't bother answering that)
Are there too many insurance ads on daytime TV?
   (and why are the same ones played incessantly at strange times of the day)
Are there too many types of insurance ads on day time TV?
   (and do they all need to use scare tactics to sell their product)
Is it healthy for me as an ill person, temporarily home bound, to see an ad for funeral plans every five minutes?
   (my DVD collection arrives in 4 days!!!!)***

All however is not lost. I only spent one day reduced to relying on daytime-TV for pain/disorientation distraction. Yesterday mum and I went for a walk and bought some plants for the garden. I was quite worn out by the trip, but it was an improvement.  I was even gracious enough to encourage mum to buy the marigolds she was favouring instead of the carnivorous plants I was lusting after.

For an hour today I could not only follow a conversation, I could add meaningful suggestions and help make plans before the fog of pain and disorientation descended.

Its going to be a long journey, but it seems that we're heading in the right direction and that the encouraging bit.



*apologies to Vic Reeves
**  at this point I should mention that Abby, being the sensible young cat she is, avoids all of this, by sleeping on mum's Queen-sized (heated) water-bed each night, stretched out in luxury!
*** for those who comment about why I have the TV on in the first place, for the above mentioned vertigo/dizziness I cannot read for long periods of time and for noise-related issues I cannot listen to audio books or music - hopefully all of this will soon change