Tomorrow is Chinese New Year. I'm having rice noodles for lunch tomorrow - a Chinese custom to ensure a long life is to eat long foods on your birthday and the New Year. Well that's the story one of my "recently emigrated from China" staff told me today.I've decided to stay positive and stop whining and whinging. I've been good with my diet and intend to continue and I've rearranged my finances this afternoon and going on a stash diet (well actually a touch more drastic than that) I've decided to become fiscally responsible to do the best job possible to wipe out all outstanding debts this Chinese year. That leaves me from Feb next year to put all of that extra money towards the Great Get Together ....
If I do this it will be the first time I have been debt-free since then end of my marriage, it will be the final step to achieving full independence.
This will mean a very tough year for me financially, so no framing, very few WW prizes, no more lavish gifts. But I figure if I do one hard year then the rest will be more comfortable. And I finally, finally, feel ready to take this step, to take control of the final aspect of my life - my finances.
I'm also going to give up trying to stitch during work nights. I just can't find enough time in the evenings when I have to work the next day. So I will still do small projects on the train and I will do my BAPXS on weekends and on the occasional day off, public holidays etc.
I know my Baps will take longer but that's OK because I will be stitching on them when I am happy and relaxed, not when I'm stressed and clock watching and getting annoyed at myself for my lifestyle choices (i.e. the commute and attendant times its taking out of my life).
I will instead spend my couple of precious hours each night getting my house, stash, books etc into shape. Declutter, have a space for everything, discard or RAK what I no longer read, want to stitch, will use etc etc. I will of course also organise and catalogue my stash :) :)
Especially as I believe I will be stitching out of my stash as much as possible this year.
As I said earlier - my theory is, one year hard will make the rest so much easier and happier ...... I can do one year.
Especially if it means I get to go to Europe next year !!!
44 comments:
Good decisions love! Well done.
Not stitching on a week night is probably the very best thing for you. After all, stress should never be a part of a fun hobby, EVER!
Being financially responsible is and can be hard but go for it...think of the end result next year and it will be worth every moment.
Enjoy the extra time with Trubs and some peace of mind too.
How cute to see the bird eating out of your hand...lovely!
Getting stress and debt free, I think these are excellent plans for the year! I think you will be able to do it as well. We will raise a glass to a happy and contented Gothy at the get together!
I think we'll be raising a glass before that....Gothy may not be there but a glass needs to be drunk before next year!
Some Great decisions made Mel, Stitching at night under pressure can become very frustrating, and things seem to go wrong. Becoming fiscally responsible is a smart way to go!!!!!!! Start enjoying life and your stitching again., Have a great week in Melbourne.
You know that we'll support you every step of the way, Mel!
Debts are ALWAYS keeping you low, so go for it and do what has to be done! It's the thing I've always tried to keep up with and so far managed, though this year I'm a bit behind as finances are tight. Luckily I'll be able to pay off from my savings at the due date, or from the house sale, whichever comes first.
I love the bird eating from your hand! Good picture.
And I agree with Claire, enjoy the stitching stress free time and get some rest in the evenings.
I had to go to no stitching during the week when I am working full-time and this does help. I find that I enjoy a 1/2 hour of reading or TV time that helps me chill out from a rough day. Getting control of the finances can be very empowering!! We did this a couple of years ago and I just remember how good it felt each month to make payments and watch totals owed actually drop! I also plan to get my one credit card (the only one I have) paid off so that I can use that to go to the get together if my health permits it.
Oh Mel - I need to do this too. Thanks for the inspiration!
Oh yes! a virtual on-line glass (ie we all have a drink to Gothy), but the MAIN drink will be with her Gothness in person!
Wow - what a great plan! I wish I were debt-free; if it was only me, I'd be in a better spot, but that's not the current situation, so I do what I can. Here's to a Stress-Free, Debt-Free year! Huzzah!
Woo Hoo! We're here to be your cheerleaders! (And support staff!) I love your plans, and with a goal that you feel so strongly about in sight, you'll be that much stronger!
That was my situation in the marriage ..... and the loan for the car and the debts he ran up on my credit card had never quite been paid off, every time it gets a bit lower I add to it, like all the new flat pack furniture and moving expenses last year. And I've re-drawn some of the extra payments out of it this year. I can never seem to get the debts under $15,000 ... and I always thought, like you, without the the DH I'd be in a better situation financially.
I know psychologically what it all stems from. When I was married DH spent all of his wages on his things and his friends and throwing lavish dinner parties. My wages went on the bills and bailing out his credit card (which he told me numerous times he cut up). Every time I had money together to buy something nice for myself or my friends, I would get a phone call from the bank - his cc was overdrawn, our joint account was bouncing cheques etc etc.
So for the last six years I've been living on my own and paying my debts and spending the little left over on things *I* want to spend it on. When I first left Canberra I was living very little money and had virtually no disposable income. As my income increased I spent more and more on things and people *I* wanted to - I was still thoroughly enjoying the freedom and the novelty of being able to waste money and the only person I affected was me (and Trubs) I wasn't hurting anyone else and I was enjoying myself.
However I can see now and fully appreciate *now* that I *have* been hurting myself. By not paying off these debts I've limited my choices in a lot of areas, especially making myself a slave to the next paycheck. It also is a factor in my depression when it manifests.
So anyway - now's the time to do the final step in growing up. I'm not being controlled by anyone else - I am no longer simply reacting to a previous situation, I am taking control of the final part of my life. I am choosing to help *me* become financially independent.
Thanks sooo much everyone for your messages of support. I know it will be hard as I can spend money like water and buying gourmet foods and stash and presents for friends and my mum are things that make me very very very happy. I know its going to be hard to stop doing this. But {deep breath} its one year.
Good girl! I am certain you will find enough in your stash to keep you busy without buying more. And your friends will still be your friends without your generous frequent RAKing and gifting. I know that you will feel great as soon as you start to see the debts slowly whittled down to nothing. The Get-Together trip is a great incentive to keep you motivated.
Mel, being in a situation that doesn't allow me to spend money as I used to be able to only a few years ago, I can fully understand what you go through now. As for the practicality of things - you should set up the splitting of your budget every month and have the bank automatically transfer the amount that you set apart for the payment of your debts. Then deduct that firmly from your wages in your mind. If it's already off your mental awareness of what you have to spend it won't bother you as much :-)
Good idea, Mariann. What has worked well for us is the fact that I can split my paycheck into several parts and have it go to different accounts. So we have the part of my check that we need for bills go to the checking account, a piece goes to our savings account and then I get the amount that is my spending cash in a check. I'm still a bit "old school" - it's much easier for me to keep track of my spending when I actually have the cash in hand.
J is unable to split his paycheck - their payroll system won't accomdate it, so his check goes into the checking account and he has an automatic transfer set up to go into the savings account. Then he goes to the ATM and draws his spending cash.
Mel, you are on the right track and whenever you get discouraged, just clip some pictures of where you will go for the get together and remind yourself what you are saving for!!
Already arranged and set up yesterday after work :) I already have this, I just rearranged how much went into what areas. and yes Paula I will be pulling out in cash each pay day what I am leaving myself for spending money so when that's gone its gone.
They have been slowly being whittled down - I started with over $45,000 in debts when I left the marriage. (and my job at that time was $34,000 per year).
I now earn more than that but I'm so tired of it that this year I just want to wipe out the last 20,000 and just be done with it.
Good for you Mel!! I hope you can accomplish this, for my own selfish reasons. I would like to meet you in 2009! We have LOTS of wine in the basement, so I can open *several* bottles for everyone to *drink* to Mel!
All I can say Mel is 'Well Done'. I know it will be hard as you are such a giving person, but not a one of us will think less of you if you are not sending out gifts. You need to feel good about you and I think you have made a great first step. When paying down debt, every bit that you can take off that interest rate will have a compounded effect. And extra $100 here and there adds up really fast! Like you have said, it is only one year. 12 months. You can do it. You will do it. I have complete faith in you.
Way to go, Mel! Believe me, I totally understand what you're going through. We've been trying very hard ourselves to get things under control. We refinanced our house in late December and will have a huge house payment because we've added in some of the other bills (at a much lower interest rate). We should be able to refinance again next year at balance only (no additional bills) and lower our interest rate substantially. So, I guess we need to form the 'One Year Club'. We're hoping that, with a little diligence, we will be much further ahead next year as well. Oh, and I don't have the incentive of the big get together because I won't be able to come. I just can't justify the expense for just me when it's been so long since the family has been on a trip.
Great decision. There is nothing as fulfilling as to know that you don't owe anybody anything. Everyone will be behind you every step of the way and when you get down we'll be here to cheer you on. Its only a year which will go quickly enough and each month you will see the figure go down and down. Looking forward to that drink with you at the get together.
Nancy better bring lots of wine because I will be celebrating !!!!!
I've got great intentions - I just have to be strong and stick with it. Strong damnit! I can be strong - heck I intimidate most of the guys at work I can do this!
Did I tell you guys that? At work we combined three different faculty libraries into one main library and for the last two years they've been interfiling the books and journals. Well two years is long enough and the University librarian has said enough is enough. All three hundred staff have been rostered onto shifts and we are all finding, sorting and shelving.
I'm on the 8-10am shift every morning. Last Thursday I went up to the Shelver in charge and asked which section he wanted me to work on that shift (finding, sorting or shelving). He said whatever you want to do Melissa.
Huh? You're the boss of the project, tell me where you need me.
Oh can you be in charge of the books, all the finding sorting and shelving of the books and I'll do the journals.
OK why?
Because you intimidate me.
??????????????
I went over to tthe books and started arranging the people and organising a production line and got the whole system working efficiently. I was chatting to a group of outreach librarians. They work in a completely separate section to me - not even in my directorate - completely different area. They go out and talk to the academics directly about "what the library can do for you".
Anyway I was chatting to these 7 guys and one girl who I've gotten to know fairly well. And I said "Andrew told me a strange thing today - he said I intimidate him".
There was general laughter all round - Mel you intimidate the heck out of us. Look at what you are doing managing this aspect of this project - you do realise we are already 6 bays ahead of the journals .....
One of the guys piped up - Mel I think I can speak for all of us when I say there is NO WAY any of us would ever ask you out, but GOD we want you for our manager!
HUH??? Was my fabulously erudite answer ....
Apparently I am considered a fabulous manager as I am "known" for putting the right people with the right tasks, I can communicate with everyone, I don't discriminate, if there's a problem I let people know immediately, if something goes right I make sure upper management know the right person to credit (I don't hog the credit myself).
Apparently next time I have a senior position going in my team I will have 8 applications from Outreach. But none of them would ever dare to to ask me out on a date.
That was a week ago and I still don't know how to handle that. I know it was intended as a compliment .....
And yet you'd prefer them to ask you out on a date..dammit.....
Probably not - I *think* they are all partnered up ..... but tis the principle of the thing :)
Hell yeah....some of them must have good strong male friends who need the love of a good woman and vice versa,
LOL !!
OK now I know I'm being serious about finances - I just went and deleted all of my ebay notifications ......
Oh good for you! ebay is another hell sucker like HAED.
You can say that again Claire!! Yikes, they just had a new designer on HAED and I want 6 of her designs!!! Like I will ever have the time to stitch them, why do we even look? Rachael Tallamy - http://tinyurl.com/yqx3ev
Love Santuary, Glacial, Winter Spell, Winter Moon, Wing and a Prayer and Valentine Moon.
Bad HAED!
Chele
Nope, not going to look...nope, not gonna....LOL
Personally, I would take that as a compliment. It's the ones that can get past the "strong woman" who are the keepers; the others wouldn't be much fun after the first couple of dates. And take it from someone who has found her last two husbands at work - other than guaranteeing they do indeed have a job, I don't recommend dating at work. I think I'll find #3 the old-fashioned way - a nice Jewish matchmaker :)
Yeah mum has Winter Moon on her Lust List already :)
They don't do as much for me but I *do* want a PRINT of "Now What" for my walls !!!!!
I've always made it a policy not to.
Tooo difficult when things go wrong - and seeing as half of these guys want to work for me, ooh too complicated for words - can we say conflict of interest :) :) :)
Nah - it just shocked me as I have had my confidence in my supervisory capacities shocked by my current five headache waste of oxygens at work. Not to mention that *I* am intimidating ????????? {LOL}
Oh well .....
Oooh do we know any?
Haven't googled for one yet; gotta get #2 outta the way first :)
Coughs quietly...mutter mutter....
Well seeing as you haven't come up with any prospective contenders yet ...... {grin}
Heh - I've been told I'm intimidating, too - and I chose to take it as a compliment. It was easier, though, because it came from guys in the fire service. While I never really experienced some of the blatant issues that other women have in different areas, but as an EMT and a Firefighter, I've worked hard to make sure that I was good at my job and not just a piece of "fluff" who had to be carried along. I'm one of a handful of female interior firefighters in the county, and I've never had anyone refuse to go into a building with me, which is a huge compliment. So, if those guys think I'm a bit initimdating - that's a good thing :)
I also know that I scare the pants off of most of our IT department here at work - in many cases because I know just as much as they do. That doesn't feel quite so much like a compliment, but at least when I need work done, it gets done.
I wish you were closer, Mel - I'd introduce you to my BIL in a heartbeat. He wouldn't be intimidated (heck, I've never managed to scare him! lol) and he's going to make the right girl a heck of a partner. :)
Teegs has your services booked, doesn't she? LOL
Good luck Mel. I hope it all works out for you.
Hey, Paula, maybe you should introduce them anyway. Think what a cool vacation spot you'd have if they hit it off and he moved there!!! hehehe
{LOL} hat's exactly what mum and I said when one of my cousin's started going out whit a Scottish Lass ..... unfortunately it was not to be !!!!!
For Teegs, I'm tempted to offer Steve's mate Keith who I adore. For Mel, it'd be John the airline pilot....
Oooooh airline pilot - that sounds promising - tell me more :)
I'm assuming he's not an arrogant pratt like all the other airline pilots I've ever known ???
Occasionally...but then all men can be LOL.
He's a good bloke..Donna met him when she was here in the summer.
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