At the train station yesterday I picked up a copy of an anthology called Bump in the Night.
It has a JD Robb novella in it called Haunted in Death which I hadn't read and wanted to read.
On the train trip home last night I read the JD Robb story - loved it.
This afternoon I thought I would read more of the book. Read Mary Blayney's Poppy's Coin and read most of Ruth Ryan Langan's The Passenger.
What a load of obviously setup, poorly written, formulaic crap I have never read !!!! What because its Romance, the plot needs to be as obvious as Run Spot Run ??? Oooh man and woman are attracted, man and woman are thrown together in unlikely circumstances, man and woman try to hide/ignore their mounting lust for one another, man and woman discover it is love not lust and they are "made for each other" they are "soul spirits" and *then* they have hot sweaty sex that transcends all other life experiences and then we assume man and woman live happily ever after prepared to accept and love each other because of their differences and flaws rather than in spite of them.
Does anyone other than me find Romance depressing to read ????
Ok the sex is fun - I've *had* earth-shatteringly good sex !! I know that isn't an impossibility :) But the Romance ????
If you have real romance in your life, you do not need to read about it. If you do not, then surely reading this claptrap heightens our feelings of inadequacy because we haven't gone through somethimg similar; *we* haven't found our "one true love".
So are woman masochists? Do we torture ouselves by reading such poorly written formulaic crap that heightens the emptiness in our lives for any good reason ????
I've never read straight Romance fiction before and frankly I'm going back to reading supernatural romance - at least I *know* they're fantasties that can never come true.
Alright I'm off to find some cheese to go with the whine .....
39 comments:
Errr.. masochiSTS, Mel!
Other 'n that - yep, you're right, but that's the cynical part of me that says that and I suppose it's your cynical part, too...
Some of us just never get there, and that's natural. Biologically we're not really made for the romance thing at all. So it's a bonus to have, but not what we need to survive :-)
Thanks Mariann - fixed the spelling error now :)
And what does biology have to do with desire ??? {LOL}
I guess I'm just too cynical or maybe my sights are set too high ????
I guess that is the main reason I just can't read those books; my ex-stepmom always read the Danielle Steele's and that type, and I tried, I really did - they had to be on the best-seller lists for a reason, right? They were juts too contrived for me. There's fiction, then there's Just no freakin' way.
Now, Diana Gabladon's Outlander books are categorized as romance, but she didn't intend them to be so, and I don't view them as such; yeah, there's a lot of romance in it, and the sex parts are pretty amazing, but the whole historical aspect (even if the time travel bit does really kill it for some people) is what draws me in. That whole question of what would you do if you knew certain cataclysmic events were about to take place, would you try to change the events leading to it, or let them unfold as you know they will - that's fascinating to me. The romance part is just an added bonus (some of which requires re-reading :) )
I guess I just need a lot more substance - I wouldn't pick up a book solely to read romance; now, if it occurs within the larger story, and isn't completely hokey, all well and good. Does that make some of us masochistic? If it leads to any sort of frustration, then absolutely.
I have a friend who is going to be 45 this year. She has never had a serious relationship and no man is good enough for her and I know it's because of all the Harlequin romances we read in high school. She really bought into the romance and the fantasy and since reality isn't perfect she chooses to stay alone.
Quite a lot actually... the desire is the product of what happens in your brain when you "want" - deeply ensconced (sp?) in the limbic system of your brain. That's where the parts of life sit that we can't steer, like breathing, eating, drinking, sleeping and reproducing.
Romance on the other hand has nothing to do at all with either desire nor reproduction :-D
Ah the irony...a rant about romance and the tawdry twaddle of romance fiction with a Queen Of Hearts background.....You gotta laugh.
This is romance: A woman goes into hospital for surgery and knows that her man cannot be there every evening after work to see her. Ok, not a problem. It's almost a two hour drive there and he's worn out from working. She accepts that.
First full day of consciousness after said surgery, woman has an enormous meltdown, pain, emotions, hormones, asthma, pain, all too much. Man is not due to visit her that night as she saw him the night before.
Man ignores womans's plaintive pleas that she's ok in reality and can cope without him.
He leaves work at 5pm, gets to her at 7.30pm. Stays for an hour. Gets home at 9.30pm exhausted.
That's romance. Not the crap spouted by writers who get given a pile of money for twaddle which would never exist in reality.
Um, IDK Mel. Maybe we are, or maybe we just like to fantasize about the perfect man. Lord knows, there aren't any perfect people out there so I guess it's just about fiction. At least I hope so. If there are a lot of women running around looking for the "perfect man", they're gonna be disappointed!!!
As someone who has started reading some romance in the last couple of years, I feel obliged to stand up for it. Some of it is great. Some of it is crap. The trick is finding the good stuff and avoiding the crap. I have a wonderful relationship and I'm totally happy in it, but it can still be fun to go along for the ride with a couple of characters.
That said, Bump in the Night is a bad example. I don't really like short stories, so I only read the J. D. Robb in it, but I loaned it to a friend who also reads the In Death books and she read them all. She said the other stories were awful. We suspect they used the J. D. Robb name to sell some below par stuff from new authors, as I'd never heard of any of them before.
As a SF/Fantasy reader, people who "don't get it" would suggest I can't tell the difference between fantasy and reality. I assure you, I totally can. Better than a lot of them. I think the same is true for sensible romance readers. They know the difference and they're reading to enjoy the story, not to imagine it is going to happen to them.
And all that said, I have to admit I pick and choose my romance, reading mostly paranormal (it's that SF/Fantasy reader in me) and picking books that have a good sounding plot as well as a good sounding romance.
Kerry and Karen,
I am like you - I don't mind a bit of romance added into the mix as long as there is something of more substance there - mystery, fantasy, sci-fi, space opera, time travel - something to actually give it a plot and structure.
Its the straight romance for the sake of writing romance that I don';t appear to like. It just does nothing but annoy me. Its not even *good* fantasy :)
However as Denise pointed out in a phone call last night, even as a teenager I bnever liked straight romantic movies. Dirty Dancing, Titanic, Gone With the Wind etc all annoyed the living cr*p out of me and left me frothing at the mouth over the exact same things - the unreality of the romances portrayed, the obviousness of the plots etc etc .....
{sigh}
Thank you !!! I had hoped someone would appreciate that - I spent some time and effort tracking down just the right background for this rant :) :) :)
yeah I bet you did ..gave me a good old giggle and there haven't been many of those these past two weeks!
Hello...fiction.....i.e. made up crap from someone's over active and ever hopeful imagination.."I carried a watermelon" indeed...oh please.
Titanic....who's got time for romance when your life is in extreme danger??
GWTW: there's a parallel for real life...if you lived over a hundred years ago in the deep south..Rhett Butler, Ashley whateverhisnamewas....one extreme to another...extreme bastardness to extreme wimp....sigh.
Maybe that's what I'm really railing against ...... I have *never* had anyone who has done something like that for me. If its something that doesn't take too much time or effort or planning If it something they can do on the spot, or something that fits in with aready made plans then cool - they will do it.
Something just for me, that takes them miles out their way, or disrupts other plans ... nope never happened. Never.
I guess I'm just not worthy of that kind of time care attention. Or maybe I just don't put out what ever is needed for them to feel that I'm important enough to care about that muich ..... I dunno.
Anyway I'm finishing this self pity jag here and heading off to work. Its 5:30am and its cool and raining buckets out there .... I'll be soaked before I hit the car :) Better wear cotton today.
Actually I was cheering for Rhett when he did his "frankly my dear I don't give a damn" !! I didn't give a damn for her either by that point :) :) :) :)
LOLOL at this thread :). I too have an appreciation for the juxtaposition of the background and the content. (How's that for a "dollar word"?
I've never been a fan of the whole straight romance (ie Harlequin Romances or Danielle Stell), either. I hate the whole obvious formula. Of course, they also sell thousands of books, so maybe I'm one of the odd ones. {shrug}
Somewhere, though, something seeped into my subconscious, whether it was from the few of those type of books that I read or from the DeBeers comemrcials.. not sure. But I spent quite a bit of time pining and whimpering during the first bits of my relationship with J about the fact that he doesn't buy cards for birthdays or Christmas (often), that there aren't flowers "just because", silly stuff like that. And y'know, it really ate at me. {sigh}
I don't know quite where or when that lightening bolt hit me, but I finally grew up enuogh to realize that the real romance is in the small every day stuff. The coming home absolutely exhausted to find a fire in the fireplace, soup in a pot on the stove and a sandwich waiting to be grilled. Gourmet meal? Probably not to most food critics, but the simple fact that I didn't have to deal with getting a meal together, and I didn't have to ask for help made it taste better than anything I'd ever find at The Four Seasons.
He's not perfect, and there are days when he drives me absolutely insane, but that's what real life is, isn't it? I think that the same forces that try to make us expect flowers, jewelry and incredible sex every day without fail are the same ones that have driven women (and men) to think that to be "perfect" you have to be a 5'9" size 3 with blond hair and a perfect smile. We women really do ourselves a huge disservice when we buy into that claptrap. Sadly, it's all become so prevalent in so many subtle ways that it creeps into our psyches before we realize it.
Oh please...you are so worth that sort of attention. It's just what someone does when they love you...they may not say they love you but the deeds/actions prove they do.
I think we're just brought up to be conditioned to the "romance" side of things, hearts and flowers and all that. Yes, it's lovely to have but it's not something which can really go on for ever.
Maybe it depends on a guy's upbringing. Mine was brought up to see his father caring for his mother and although he rarely thinks to bring flowers home, he's more likely to pick up a little extra silly at the supermarket knowing it's something I would like to have.
I've had the flowers and hearts thing and was devastated when he left me, utterly devastated. Have never forgiven the guy and doubt I ever will.
Was this a self pity thing?? whatever set me off, it's been quite cathartic to write my replies and think some things over...Thank you, Mel....it's been good:)
But Mel, is there really emptiness in your life? really? I always get the impression that you enjoy your life and that your most recent "ex" was almost an irritation other than the dinners on the weekend and the foot rubs.
I feel that you are someone who knows who she is, has a life she enjoys and gets on with it.
Am I that wrong about you?
No sweetheart you are not wrong :) :) I do *mostly* enjoy my life and I did enjoy having time on my own and *not* living together ...
But after a long and tiring day, or when I feel sick or down it would be nice to have someone who arranges "a fire in the fireplace, soup in a pot on the stove and a sandwich waiting to be grilled." to borrow a quote from a friend :) :)
its also would be nice to have someone special to go out to dinner with or to the movies or who laughs when I make a corny joke or chats intelligently with me about any topic.
As for romance - its not flowers or jewellery that I want. Its little things like him taking me out for the night ... him arranging for concert tickets, him paying for it, him doing the pre planning, him making me dinner that wasn't from ingredients I had to buy ...
Frankly I guess what I'm trying to say is sometimes it would be nice to have someone to take of business, to take care of me and to do something specifically just to please me.
I've never ever had this - its probably highly overrated but it would be nice to have someone else go out of their way for me instead of the other way around for a change ...
Yes I know I know ... come back to reality :)
S'cuse me? Not worthy? And how many men out the billions that inhabit the earth have you dated? Must we assume the fault lies in ourselves rather than the fact that not ALL men are wired that way? NO!
OK, so mine would never go out of his way either. But I have met some that would. I just wasn't attracted to them or they were not available.
Yes, men like that are out there, no, not everybody has one. You may not ever have one, I am pretty sure I never will, such is life. But it isn't my fault or yours than the majority of men are too self-centered, or just not intuitive enough, to read between the lines and know when we need them to go out of their way for us. They just are.
{LOL} Thanks Sisu!
Sorry girls but you are all looking for the perfect man (Claire excepted). Believe me, there ain't no such thing. Claire's got one thats as good as it comes; I've got one also but even they "have their moments" when you could cheerfully strangle or poison them. \Life is what you make it. Take the good, try to ignore the bad when you can. Give as much as you take. And remember, when you do find a good one, hang onto him for dear life. Lots of cliques I know, but I guess you get the gist of the message
It's very true Mel - most men will never come close to those is a romance novel. Some women set themselves up for being loneyl if they keep looking for a guy like this
Yeah, I "get" that:(
If it helps, mine hates to go out. I love to go out. My idea of a night out is to go see a film and then have dinner. He hates the cinema with a passion, too many people.
He doesn't mind eating out occasionally, but that's like once every few months.
His current idea of a night out would be sitting in front of his pc surfing ebay....sigh.
LOL! I actually didn't mention it because I thought that intention was too obvious to even mention :-)
Yep, I know that feeling - never had that either. And there ARE times when I wish that there was someone who would take most of my troubles from my shoulder and would support me.
Won't happen to me ever either - I think. Mostly because I'm not searching, LOL!
If you do look and search, you might fine :-)
Oh, and I think you are certainly a person conscious of the reality.
Thanks for understanding Mariann.
The harsh reality is I'd rather be on my own than to put up with someone who doesn't respect me or my personality traits (for lack of a better description).
So lonely or simply alone I will be.
Would still be nice to be otherwise - but reading poorly structured badly written straight romance books is not going to assist in any way !!!!! (to take this back to the beginning rant ...)
Read my slash stories then :-)))))
They're fluffy in most places, but romance takes place more on the side than anything...
And yep - I fully understand for your wishes as well. But believe me, the older you get the quirkier you normally get and that quirkiness will be less and less attractive. Saw that, too...
Can't wait to meet you next year! I suppose we are very different in our tastes, but we should still get along famoously in most things, LOL!
Forget everything written above -I'm finished with my self-pity jag. Finished over completely.
But I will stand by what I said at the end - I'd rather be on my own that put up with all the crap other people bring to a relationship - I'm soooo tired of it all.
From now I'm going to treat any prospective partners the way I've been treated - I'll expect them to be on tap waiting for when I can get my slug butt into gear and decide I want to do something. I'll make then do all the arrangements while I consider maybe whether or not they're important enough to actually decide that yes I'll bother coming along ....
Romance is not only dead - its never existed - not here anyway! The only romance that ever exists here is when some door mat with more money than sense turns themselves into a pretzel trying to accommodate someone else's whims. And that stupid person has usually been me.
Well fuck that.
I'm sooo tired of this shit! Last post from me.
Oh Mel - please don't go that way. I want to pm you a little story...watch your box.
Thanks Lyne - that helped put some things into perspective for me.
I'll write you a longer PM after I digest your comments a bit more .....
Equanimity is restored!
Thank you all for putting up with my whining and venting and ranting. I've spent a couple of nights here in Melbourne with friends and it has really restored my faith in the world.
Its also reaffirmed my strong desire to move here and complete my Masters degree :)
I had dinner Monday night with some old friends and acquaintances I hadn't caught up with in at least seven years.
I had a ball - just out with friends, no pressure no niggles, just a good time was had by all - and I was up in a coffee house still swapping jokes 2am Monday morning.
Monday night I spent out with my real long term friend and we were chatting until nearly 3am.
Its just good to be out with friends who you can talk to about anything, who not only get your jokes but can fire them back at you and who treat you with respect.
No need for partners - or romance - I just needed a good dose of physical friendship !!!
Feeling so much better about myself and my place in the world and the way the world is around me.
This is a good thing.
OK my time is about up so I'm off for dinner alone and then to crash out and catch up on sleep. The course is tooo intensive to keep those kinds of hours every night - but it was a really really good couple of nights.
Really good.
So - are you already seriously considering this? It would be a boost for your professional career as well :-) Could you do it next to paid daily work?
I'm so glad you found/refound friendship and faith in the world again! All isn't lost then...
Woohoo! The upbeat Tigger hath returneth...cool!
Kudos to work for sending you on the course and getting you back with old friends:)
YAY!!! Good for you!!! A move in your not-too-distant future???
Excellent news, Gothy! :) Funny how the universe sends us what we need and we don't really realize it, isn't it? Sooo glad to hear you sounding happier!
Glad you're feeling better. Melbourne is a lovely place. I lived there for six years and look back at it with great fondness. Keep up us updated on your plans - as I'm sure you will.
Yay a bouncy Tigger again - this is what we want to see :-)
I am a very bouncy Tigger - I'll post more in my blog a little later but the Universe is definitely pushing me in a particular direction both personally and professionally (just not romantically at this stage - maybe the Universe is waiting a while for other things to happen first) ......
How wonderful to hear you are feeling better about yourself and how you want to see life in the future. I'd have loved to have gone back and done my Masters so I can live vicariously through you when you do yours. Fantastic to have you back. Hugs...........
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