On the train on the way home a man was getting very drunk and increasingly abuse towards other passengers in the carriage. Everyone ignored him and hoped he would shut up and fall into a stupor.
Half way along the trip the Inspectors came onto the carriage and asked to view our tickets (looking for fare evaders). I asked if they were the people we reported drunk and abusive behaviour to. They asked who? I pointed him out and gave a description of the amount of his drinking and his antics towards the other passengers.
He denied it all in a small sweet voice saying he'd been drinking before he got on the train and he was sorry if he upset anyone. He got off with a warning. They left the carriage.
He was quiet for another few stops and then just as we were pulling onto the platform of the next major stop he got out of his seat and started yelling at me, calling me bitch, cunt, lag, prude. Was I fucking jealous because I didn't have any booze? How much time on my hands does a cunt like me have anyway? etc etc He stood over me with his right fist raised in the air.
I pushed past him, fled down the carriage, nipped out the door and back in the door of the next carriage just as we pulled out of the station.
As I was hurrying down the carriage I saw all the older women looking at me in sympathy, all the men in business suits didn't look up from their papers and the teenagers were laughing and giggling.
I assumed the inspectors had gotten off the train at that stop and that's why he felt brave enough to attack me. I was wrong, the inspectors got off at my stop, where the journey terminates. I told them what had happened and got told "no it didn't we were watching you both the entire time". Right! So when we were on X platform and he was standing over me with his fist raised, yelling at the top of his lungs, you saw and heard that?
We went down the other carriages for just a few minutes, he must have done it then.
Right! So you at least noticed that I was no longer in the same carriage as him?
Well he's left the platform now there's nothing more we can do.. I suggest if you know his name and address you could report him to the Police.
Right! And have them tell me the same thing you did - that because you didn't witness the incident there's nothing you can do. No wonder the rest of the carriage didn't bother speaking up. I'm obviously the only idiot here.
As I left the train station he and his mates we waiting for me. Taunting me as soon as I left the station. Did you have a good ride love? did you enjoy your trip love? Are you jealous because we had all the booze love? Fucking cunt. Fucking bitch. We'll fucking do you bitch - next time you're in a carriage by yourself, we'll fucking do you.
(As an aside *why* do they always say "we'll fucking do you!" Hmm? Why is whenever I get threatened its always the same phrase) ...
As we had left the platform the Inspectors couldn't do anything. There were commuters streaming past and they all studiously avoiding getting involved. They taunted me all the way to the edge of the car park then left. By the time I stopped shaking long enough to start the car and exit the car park they appeared to have left.
Rather than go out to the party I had been invited to tonight, I've just come home. Once again I get another object lesson to do what everyone else does and just shut my mouth and let them get away with whatever behaviour they like, because they will never be punished for it. Our society is geared towards them behaving as they wish and I'm just hurting myself by not being part of the huddled masses.
36 comments:
Oh my poor love. No wonder you haven't answered my texts.
I knew I had to come on here at Mum's and check on you.
{{{{{Mel}}}}}
Ignore them. It's the alcohol talking. Next time it happens, have someone available on your mobile phone to witness the incident by voice....better yet, please try and avoid them if at all possible.
Big big hugs...don't ever change who you are. Standing up for yourself is an essential in this life and the more people who are brave enough to do it will eventually frighten yobs into normal adult behaviour.
Now I've calmed down a bit I can reply. First off (((((((((((((((MEL))))))))))))))))), you didn't deserve that at all. Just because you have the balls to speak up makes you a far better person then either the drunks or the cowards in the carriage. As for the ticket collectors, they must have known from the smell but chose to ignore it rather than do their job. I hope they cluck off into their corner coz they are too chicken. As for the pissheads - they wouldn't do that sober. The drink makes them oh so brave to threaten women. Drunks in packs are my pet hate on public transport because they don't know when to stop. I stand up to them whenever possible but even I know on occasions when to leave alone. I used to work on the counter in Dominos on a Friday and Saturday night and the abuse from drunks I took was frightening. It's not just 5'2" fat women who get abused - this 6' 300+lb woman got it too.
At the last place I lived I saw what my neighbour did to his girlfriend because he was too drunk to know when to stop. I was scared that if he did start hitting me, I would have ended up in the hospital.
I detest drunks with a passion!
I also detest feeling vulnerable and afraid.
A pint of Homer Hudson Chocolate Rock icecream
A 30 minute phone call from Stephen
A text from Claire
and last week's erisode of Dr Who ....
and now I feel a little better.
Maybe an episode of Torchwood and then I'm off to bed I think .....
Oh Mel that is awful, - Shame on the inspector, shame on the commutors - all it can take is an _ everything ok, the is police man round the corner do you want me to fetch him.......
looking down glad to see you have settled.
agggggggg this makes me mad! (((((((((((((((((((((((((((hug)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
{{{{Mel}}}} No words beyond what Claire and Roseann have said. This must be the day(s) for it - I had an ambulance crew leave a scene twice yesterday because the patient was too belligerent to deal with (from drugs and alcohol). The police were going to transport him, until he went into seizures... when at least he stopped threatening everyone around him. "Chemically enhanced" people are not only my pet peeve, but also one of my fears because too many times they can turn on a dime, and here I am, stuck in about 10 square feet of space with them... and not a whole lot to defend myself with.
Sorry - didn't mean to ramble, but I do empathize!
Just another good reason to buy a tazer and take self defence classes.
I got beaten up by no less than five of the male species [won't say men because they weren't] at once when I was a teenager, but thankfully I got them all individually afterwards. I'm hoping I hurt them enough to make them think twice about hitting another female.
Sorry you had to put up with this shit. Hope you're feeling better about it.
OMG - what an asshole!! There's nothing worse than a mean drunk when you are just trying to do your thing like you do every day. And there you are, in a confined space that you can't really escape from, so you either take it, by going into sheep mode or you try to do something, which immediately makes you stand out, and then bites you in the butt in one way or another. Shame on everyone else in the carriage for not saying anything, either to you in support, to him for being an ass, or to the nancy inspectors. Can you lodge a complaint with the transportation office, in a general way, about how you asked for help from the employees, and got none, and then the abuse continued after you exited, while still on the grounds? Cripes - I hope you don't run into that joker again - was this the first time you had seen him, due to your different hours now? {{{{MEL}}}}
My big mouth gets me in those kinds of situations every so often - though I'm not out in the anonymous public like that very often these days. Though there was the time that I was leaving lunch, and as I was getting into my car and talking to my coworker, some old lady overheard what I was saying and said "Excuse me?" - it was clearly obvious I was not speaking to her, as she was about 5 cars over, but I had walked past to get to mine - she must have really strained to hear. Anyway, that was an ugly moment that still I have no comprehension of. Nothing on the scale of what you had to go through, but I do seem to have these little things happen every so often. It's very bizarre... Oh, and apparently, it's bad form to request a stranger's child to please stop doing cartwheels inside a restaurant, coming to a landing 4" from my chair and/or plate. And squealing in a tooth-shattering manner. I am obviously a rude bitch.... Same restaurant as the old lady hollering match, btw, now that I think about it... maybe I shouldn't go there any more.
Mel......that's just horrible, you don't deserve that treatment. You have every right to enjoy your ride home and be able to relax and not have to deal with drunks yelling at you for any reason! To bad more people don't get the strength in numbers idea.......if they would have stood with you instead of staying neutral those drunks wouldn't have had a chance to act the way they did towards you.
{{Mel}} I am so so sorry you had to go through that. I sincerly hope those awful people (the abusers, the ones that didn't defend you and the inspectors that did nothing) all fall headfirst into a privy somewhere. I just can't believe that there wasn't a gentleman on board that would help you! grrrrrrrr
{{{{{Mel}}}}}
{{{{{Mel}}}}} What a terrible situation to be in!!! You certainly didn't deserve that!!! It's not fair that you were punished for doing the right thing. I hope that you never run into those jerks again. I am glad to hear that you are feeling a little bit better now.
I can't stand it when people are jerks in public and can do such awful things and NO ONE will put them in their place. I don't have to take public transportation and it's so intimidating when people are acting like that and if you say something to make them stop you don't know if anyone else will back you up!!! It's a shame that it has come to that. I feel for you, I have been in some scary situations like that, but not for a long time.....thank goodness. {{{{{{{Mel}}}}}}}
I'm really not doing any better. Broken sleep and nightmares.
Stephen suggested next time to move carriages. Mum rang last night. She told me off. Told me me to keep my head low. Pointed out that these people lived in my area. They could find out that I used to work in the local library. The could easily find out I live alone. They could track me down and hurt me at home.
I pointed out that if you want to me to become a sheep I may as well be beaten up and left for dead.
Mum decided I needed depression counselling.
I decided all humanity should be eradicated.
Oh dear Mel! Your Mum does have a point about keeping a low profile. There are far too many people running free who should not! Yes, sometimes (maybe more than sometimes) the world would be a better place with fewer persons.
Mum is probably right. I'm not really going through a good time right now in many fields and this was just the icing on the cake. I gotta admit I am questioning what the point of humanity is?
What is the point of being here ??? What is the point of being alive? I can't make anyone else happy. I can't protect anyone. I'm crap at my job and I can't even make myself happy. Seriously what's the point? What is life without happiness?
I'm not religious - I do not believe that we were "meant" to suffer so why do we waste so much of our time doing it ???
Mel, will you stop beating yourself up so much. I know where you are coming from about the why am I here argument. I have been depressed enough to attempt suicide and it is not worth it. You are not crap at your job, you will never make anyone else happy (that is impossible). What I do detect from this post is that you are having some seriously warped thoughts and you do sound depressed. You are surrounded by so much love, just lean on us for a while. As for making yourself happy, that is something to work towards. You need to work out what you want and when you are as down as you are now, ths is not the time to attempt it. PM me if you want to any time. I'm suffering insomnia at the moment. (((((HUG)))))
Melissa,
What else do mothers do when their children are hurting and they cannot be there to help them. When you put yourself in jeopardy like you did on that train it frightens me. If I could make your world better, I most certainly would, but I do not have the means to do that. If I could protect you , find you a a lovely partner, the perfect job and pay off all your debts so that you could go back to Uni and do that degree I would gladly do all these things. As I cannot and You are to far away to hug you and turn your ugly thoughts away, I yell at you down the phone hoping this makes you angry and hopefully allows you to blow off some of these ugly and yes sometimes even twisted thoughts out into the open and not kept penned up in your head...
I know you are not a sheep and I like that you are independent , responsible and try to help those around you, but you seem to keep going back and bashing your head against that same wall. I love you dearly and hate you beating your self up.
Sorry to hear this happened gothy, Dr Dragon suggests having a video phone and streaming it to your computer and then sending it to the police; at least it was not worse and they didn't physically attack you (although mental abuse is more than bad enough), when I was in this situation the bar stewards gang raped me - not a nice end to a day.
Hilary - you win an award for most outrageous understatement I've ever heard. And Aussies are famous for their understatements.
As can be seen things could have been so much worse for me. But it wasn't. Big Big Big hugs to Hilary and Vamps and everyone else who *has* had an exponentially worse situation than mine was.
Roseanne - I've been suicidal before too and I've previously mentioned that there are times when things just seem to pile up on me. This is one of those times. This was simply the culmination of a heap of emotional issues (yesterday at work was one I never want to repeat again - I had to deal with marriage breakdowns, child care issues and staff and friends crying at me and screaming at me at every turn for hours).
In a nutshell - I know when I'm suicidal and I know how to turn away from there. It gets a little nasty for a while but I've always managed to find a way out.
I'm fragile but I'm not suicidal. Just in need of a darn good hug - as usual ... I'm just quiet because often when I'm in this state everything I say comes out wrong and makes things worse. Usually.
And to be perfectly honest if Vamps and Hilary can get through their ordeals and be wonderful people - then I can just get over myself !!!!
Now that sounds more like it!
Big Hugs Mel. His behavior was atrocious. If your mobile phone has video capability, pehaps you could capture the ill behavior of some of these louts and present it to the inspectors without his knowledge. I don't know if it would do any good though.
I detest drunks as well. I have been beaten and raped by drunks who thought it was OK to just blame their bad behavior on the booze.
DH can't figure out why I don't like his country music. Why? Because every 2nd song glorifies getting stupid drunk.
Now I am very non-confrontational. I don't like to argue, I don't like to haggle, I don't want people to be 'mad' at me, BUT, I have always been the idiot who jumps in feet first to defend the underdog, and I sure wish I had been on that carriage with you. I would have stood up for you and with you against that drunk, and stupid me probably would have kicked the idiot in the head when he raised his fist. Thankfully I am not too fat to get my leg that high yet, LOL. So take care and I hope you don't encounter him again. Or invest in some pepper spray.
Thanks Sisu! No my phone doesn't have viseo capability and I didn't even have my phone with me that day anyway.
Moral of the story don't forget my phone!
Alison said much the same thing on the phone tonight. She's taller and fitter than I am and she *could* kick him in the head! And probably would have :)
Doing brunch with her tomorrow :) Big hugs to you too Sisu for going through all the crap in your life that you have !!!!
Poor Mel. What an ugly episode!! Again, the effects of drink rears it's ugly head and the complacency of others rules. Trying to think objectively from 11000 miles away, I don't think these guys are going to make it a lifelong personal vendetta to do anything further to you. I do think he may be more than a little embarrassed if he ever sees you again. He was drunk, acted totally irrationally and made an idiot of himself. I'm sorry you had to go through this, very frightening upsetting ordeal, but hope you are stronger for it. (you know, Mom used to say " what doesn't kill us, makes us stronger") Big hugs and don't let these jerks change who you are - we love you just as you is!!
So sorry this happened to you, Mel. I'm not gonna compare war stories or give lots of advice or anything like that. You've had very good advice here. Only know that I'll keep postive thoughts for you & your inner strength. Stay strong, dear.
I can't offer any other words of wisdom either about what happened on the train that hasn't already been said. Keep your chin up! You did the right thing! {{{Mel}}}
Its not the head you aim for girlie. Its the goolies. Had I been in your place I would have done exactly the same. I'm so sorry these thugs turned on you. Men alone are just plain cowards. Men when they are with their mates and drunk are just plain thugs. Hugs coming to you. You are a fantastic person. DO NOT FORGET IT. I really dont know what has happened to the world today. Yes, |I know its something our parents say, but believe me IT IS getting worse.
Have a good weekend. Put whats happened behind you. Dont forget to have your phone with you ALL THE TIME. You could even invest in a pepper spray. Come to that a deodarant spray in their faces will stop antics.
We all love you. Remember that
So sorry this happened to you sweetheart. Just remember that you really are better than they are!
Mel, I'm so sorry to hear that you were abused. But you did the right thing in standing up to the asshole.
I just hope that the bar stewards woke up the next day with the hangover from Hades and a recollection of doing something really, REALLY stupid
Stupid ??? Rape is not just stupid !!!!!! Its cruel, inhuman and punishable by death !!!! Or at least permanent maiming !!!! There is never ever EVER any time a rapist just should wake up thinking "oh ooops" ....
I hope they all work up the next morning with little green rubber rings around their cocks! The same ones we use on sheep when we turn them into whethers!
Trust me Mel I am the last one to thing rape is just stupid, I was thinking more along the lines of being falling over drunk, getting filmed flashing someone, this being on youTube and them getting sacked for gross misconduct (well a girl can dream!)
I think that *actually happened* to Railway workers here in Australia last year !!!!!
Eep and oops! is the only response to that then Gothy!
I am really sorry about what happened to you Mel..Alcoholics really scare me..My grandma's brother is an alcoholic so I know how it is especially as alcohol is haram for us... ((( hugs )))
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