In the last couple of days, since Stephen and I announced our engagement, I have been shocked and hurt by the number of nasty people who have come out of the woodwork to attack us.
A recent ex of Stephen, a long term ex of his, my ex-husband and friends and sycophants of all of these. They have spewed bile, nastiness, guilt trips, attacks on our self esteem and just general snideness.
This has gotten me down - mainly because I was naive enough to think that our engagement had to do with us, not them. I know Stephen is coping with this much better than I am; I've spent most of today in tears.
But I've come to realise, they're just indulging in Schadenfreude or something like it.
http://au.youtube.com/watch?v=2NUQ_oa3JSU
You Tube's not playing nicely with embeds tonight.
I'm off to bed - I hope you enjoy the video - yes there is a bad word or two for those with small children.
28 comments:
Why would your ex's care??
I have no idea - I've been divorced for EIGHT YEARS. Stephen's other ex was three {???} years ago.
I guess some people don't move on and just need to find a way to hurt other people to make themselves feel good about themselves.
It is something I really don't understand, but I was told by my mum tonight that around 85% of the world is like this and electronic communications just makes it easier for them.
I just wasn't expecting the level of abuse or the quarters it came from. It has really shocked me.
BIG HUGGGGGGGGG
Here why do you care what he thinks or her? You are celebrating your love for Stephen and if anyone doesn't like it - SOD them. As long as you friends and his are happy for you then that is all that counts!!!!!
Babes, I know you expected some of this but enough already...they need to move on with their own lives and if they don't already have a life, GET ONE!.
Where do I go to shout at these morons?
{{{{{{{{{{{{you}}}}}}}}}}}}
Stuff them Mel - we are all happy for you both and it sounds as though they are sad people with no lives.
I understand more than you know Mel - it was my in-laws who weren't happy for us. And I believe your mom is right - most people don't have anything better to do than cause trouble.
God, people kill me. I guess that I was lucky, when I left Idiot #1, once the papers were signed, I never spoke to him again. My dad did, and still does (thanks for the loyalty there Dad). Never had any of this. Just tell them all to stick it and to move on and get a life of their own. But more importantly, don't let it bother you - that's what they want. Delete e-mails, don't answer the phone for a day - it'll be okay :)
I'm not too astonished from your ex, since you told me that your divorce wasn't the easiest of affairs, sweetie. You don't deserve this. You deserve to bask in the happiness you share with Stephen. If you can, delete the mails, forget the bugger and look forward.
The world is not a peaceful place, as much as we wish for it and sometimes the nastiness sits very close to home. That reaction of your collection of exes is childish and primitive (in the bad sense of the word). Disregard and discard it as fast as you can!
((((((((((((Mel))))))))))))))))
What can I say, but echo the words of others? Just remember...they are jealous and they have reason to be. You guys are happy and excited and the ex's can stay jealous and ex's. Hold your head higher and say, "yes you have lots of reasons to be jealous of me - things are going great for me!" Maybe if they weren't such nasty ill tempered people then they would have something to be jealous of as well.
Assholes will never learn
Oh, Honey, they are just jealous that you just might have found that all elusive happiness that they can't or haven't found yet. I know it's hard, but ignore the unhappy people and just enjoy yourselves. If you two are happy with each other than all the crap in the world they spew shouldn't matter one whit.
Sending hugs and good thoughts.
Sorry you're getting such negativity.
Its one of those I dont want you/him but I dont want anyone else to either. They cant let go and move on. They cant bear to think that anyone else can make you/Stephen happy, just because they couldn't.
Its petty and mean. Delete their e-mails, put the phone down if they call. Its YOUR life and its going to be a very happy one. They'll get fed up if you ignore them eventually. In the meantime dont let it get to you
Big hugs.......... and if WE can harass them, PLEASE let us know:)))
I know it's easier said than done but ignore them. By rising to it you've given them the reaction they sought.
The important thing is you and Stephen. Get on with 'YOUR' life and let them have theirs in their low life place where ever that is.
You know we all are happy for you.
Nope. I think you and everyone else here is right. Ignoring them is the best policy. I'm too happy and having too much fun to even notice their attacks right?
As a number of people have warned me this weekend: don't mud wresting with a pig - you just end up feeling dirty and the pig enjoys it.
Reading back through his LJ my ex has been having these digs at me ever since we split up and will continue to do so. At least he's finally stopped sending private investigators after me taking pictures of everything I do and everyone I'm with.
I just haven't noticed that consistency of the remarks, because I don't read his blog. I'm not part of his life, he's not part of mine, we run in different worlds. Why deliberately go and read something something that makes me feel ill every time. The lies the slander.
Am I a coward for ignoring him or have I simply moved on? I thought I had moved on until I opened Pandora's box. So in that particular case - I'm closing Pandora's Box and walking away. It doesn't exist. He doesn't exist. His words and slander cannot hurt me any longer especially as I am no longer in the SCA and I doubt I will ever be strong in the gaming community.
Stephen's older ex made a few snide remarks that here hurtful to Stephen and opened a couple of old wounds, but she's left the field. She stabbed and ran, leaving Stephen to close the wounds himself. We are definitely ignoring that one.
His more recent ex and her coordinated attacks by her, her friends and her family are starting to border on Basic Instinct territory. But its all been sent to Stephen directly, so even though there's a lot of mud being slung at me, he wants to deal with this one himself.
Why can't these people just fuck off and let us get on with our lives?
OK so thank you all for letting me vent. I was in shock - I shouldn't have been. Alright I'm getting dressed and heading in to work and putting all of this behind me.
Thank you everyone !!! You've told me what I needed to hear :) :)
Hug
I'm so sorry you are having to go through this at a time when you should be feeling so happy.
The best way to get back at them - continue to be happy, and have a wonderful future together.
Be happy.
They are just jealous because their little lives still suck and they think you should be pining away like they are. Instead, you have happiness. How dare you?!?! Yes, just ignore them. They are as inconsequential as an annoying gnat. Just not quite as smart.
Love and hugs
Awwww I don't deserve a friend as good as you!
Be happy and ignore the idiots. They are the past and have no place in your future together.
Honestly, the person who came up with the line about "the best revenge is living well" was spot-on.
The thing that always got to my ex was the fact that I didn't roll over and die after he left. I'm sure that there was an element of the fact that while he didn't want to be with me any longer, he didn't want anyone else to be with me, either. But I'm proudest of the day he called me a "vindictive read-headed bitch" since I did *nothing* to him.. once he left for the last time, it was over and I went on with my life. I never made any attempt to make him look bad or affect his life in any way... and the fact that he said that shortly after I started dating J was also pretty telling, IMO.
Lots of hugs and good thoughts headed out for both of you; don't let this ruin this happy time for you!
Paula - you've definitely hit a nerve! That's my ex to a T. Its been eight years. I hadn't looked at his blog or asked about him or tried to figure out what he was up to or where he's been for at least seven of that eight years.
He's still feeling the need to bitch about me and rant about how miserable my life must be .... {laugh} You are soooo right Paula!
THANK YOU! Smooches to Paula!
Sometimes things just need to be put in the right perspective :)
OK ranting about exes is over. I'm going back to living my life and ignoring the lot of them :)
Good for you...life is for living....do so.
OH GOOD GOD !!
Even the local newspaper blog has a comment to say on a similar situation. What - there's a spate of this going around ????
http://blogs.news.com.au/bossy/index.php/news/comments/facebook_and_my_old_high_school_friends_are_wrecking_my_life/
That's because retardation is universal - and the longer you live, the more you know... :}
How about I stay in my cosy little world and only hang out with you guys ????
This just proves that morons are found everywhere and that people really don't grow up from being schoolkids...sigh.
Ignore, ignore, ignore.
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