Ok its time I faced up to some realities.
First up is finances. If I want to start getting myself out of my current financial mess, I will have to look at my expenditures. I cannot affect the major items like rent, but I can affect the "everything else".
I will not be able to attend The Great Get Together or visit Mariann next year. I simply cannot afford to incur the further debt that International Travel would entail. I apologise to everyone, and most especially to Mariann :(
In a similar vein I'm going on a stash diet. From now until September 2009 I will be stitching from my stash.
Similarly I'll be cutting back my RAKs and presents. This is the one that hurts my pride and my ego the most. But I know you are my friends and I know you understand. Its myself I still have to convince. So I figure if I state it upfront, then I can't cheat or lie to myself. Any and all RAKs and presents from here on in will be simply a card and a couple of skeins of floss or fabric or a chart (all from my stash).
I'm not looking for sympathy, I just need to face my situation and start dealing with it. Not hiding from it, overspending and whinging like I have been :)
In an effort to address this further I have set up a new blog under ID Gothtigger2009.
In that blog I will be writing thoughts and ideas and progress towards my health. Specifically starting with my finances and my body weight in an effort to start dealing with my depression.
Any of you are welcome to friend that blog if you want to read along, offer encouragement or even better some advice :)
I'm really really sorry I have to do this.
42 comments:
Melissa, I can so identify with this. Now you have been to my place and seen my personal stash but the reality is I cannot personally afford to keep buying anymore. I was so glad to see your email and I , too, need to stop and take stock of my budget. So here it is in black and white. I need to budget in all aspects of our personal life.
Mel I am doing the same thing, I think most of us are having to take a financial step back at the moment so do not worry about it!
{{{Mel}}} Putting things into writing sometimes makes it a lot easier to do what you intend to do. I know I need to be on a stash diet also... I'm sure more of us are in the same boat than wish to admit it, you know you're not alone. Sorry the trip isn't going to work out next year.
Congrats for taking the step to make your future brighter!! It's never an easy step, but one that will have a fantastic finish!! I do my best to keep us on a managable budget, and stitching stash is usually what takes the back seat. So, I know how it feels! :( GOOD LUCK and BEST WISHES!!!!
Mel, I completely understand!!!! That is pretty much where I've been all this year - I have really missed being able to send out my little gifts, even just the cards & floss, like I did last year. But my family has to eat, so I've cut back on everything, and only stashed for myself when I come into unexpected money - my raise & retro pay, birthday money from my folks. It hurts when you don't know if $1.50's worth of postage will completely disrupt everything for a week or more, but that's where we've been almost this entire year - and hence my knowing I wouldn't be able to go to TGGT, either.
Hopefully, better times are ahead, for all of us. We will all get together eventually, I have no doubt - it's just going to take a bit more time, and a lot more stability!
Good for you Mel! The changes you are making now will make things so much better for you in the long run. I think pretty much everyone is watching their finances, so you are certainly not alone.
I wish you lot's of luck with your endevours to improve your health and lose weight. I remember how hard it was to do after I had had my children, but with time, patience and perseverance I succeeded. I know you will too!
Hmm maybe we should push TGGT back a year or so until we all have more cash!
Go for it woman!
No worries here and lots of encouragement/boots up backside, whichever is required as when required! ;))
Awww thanks everyone. You don't know what its like to post such a blog and then go to bed. Wake up the next morning and there are over half a dozen responses all supportive and positive. Its like Christmas every morning when I do this :)
Thanks for being so supportive and understanding. I haven't been in this kind of financial situation since my marriage breakup seven years ago and I thought I had arranged my life so that I wouldn't be in this situation again.
Lesson learned for future -- pay off debts as soon as possible and keep a very large buffer of savings. Don't live to your means.
Maybe we need to make this a group project :)
I knew I could count on you Jim :) :)
Sounds like plan to me! Mark and I need to sort everything out as well, especially as our savings buffer has been eaten up whilst Mark was on SSP
My pleasure \;))
Thats the most sensible thing I've heard said in a long time Mel. Everyone (unless they havepotsof money) needs to keep within their budget especially at the present time in this financial situation which could, and probably will, get worse before it gets better.
I think I should probably join you. We dont have any debt but with rising costs it would be wise to watch the pennies and buying stash when I have a room full already is really rath an indulgence. Like you I'll send gifts from my stash. Could even do with losing a bit of weight as well. Got any good diets?
{grin} nope.
I did lose 30 kilos on Atkins a few years ago, but I've put at least 20 of that back on.
I need to find a sustainable healthy eating pattern.
Right now I'm starting with "stop buying takeaway food". Only eating meals I prepare myself - better for my health (no pre-processed food where I don't know what they put in it) and its cheaper.
I figure that's a start and once I have that bit down I'll look at the next step. I've given myself nine months to lose the weight so I need to make sure each step is sustainable :)
Hugs, Mel, and good luck with the new plans. When you think hard enough there are plenty of ways to cut back on spending. We are doing a lot more library trips to borrow movies and books. I'm trying to make some xmas gifts - especially things that don't need to be framed - like hats, and things that can be made with stuff that I already have on hand..
If it takes it in Black and white for it to work, then this is your start! You have sent out a rash of spiders......that must have been your last hoorah? We won't think anything different of you just because you aren't showering people with presents. Much better to pay off debts. That will give you the same feel good, feeling, I hope!!!
The spiders were arranged months ago :) :) They are Christmas presents to all recipients :)
I did mention some people would only be getting baubles this year - well its now just about everybody will only be receiving baubles and well - I couldn't send normal baubles now could I ???
Not when Sisu makes such deliciously gorgeous ones :)
YOU????? Never!!!
Hey remember *I'm* not the one making them !!!!!!! :)
Mel, I think you've nicely summed up what many of us are facing, and you've made some great plans to get back on track. This group is great at encouraging each other, no matter what we're doing. Way to go on getting it all down in black and white - great start!!
She does make some gorgeous ones....pictures just didn't do them any justice. Thought they were cute in the pictures; but really like it up close!! :) Thanks again Mel, it was most unexpected!!
Y'know - I would NEVER want you to apologize about taking care of yourself - which is definitely what this post is!
I know the sadness and deep disappointment that you probably are feeling about the GGTG. I reached that point last spring when we had to replace my car after the accident. I probably wouldn't have been able to save enough to go anyway, but that episode was the clarifying point and I cried for days over it.
And I also understand how it feels to not be able to do the RAKs and gifts as you've done. That is definitely something that we're all struggling through. I need to remember, tho, (and it helps when I can) how an email or an e-greeting makes me just as happy as getting a snail mail card.
I'll be adding your other blog as well - I'll be cheering for you (and maybe even picking up some tips) :)
You know - I never even saw it that way. See that's why I need you guys - I can't see the forest for the threes sometimes :)
I am also thinking of putting up a weekly update on my other blog if goals for the week and I went towards achieving them - some days will be better than others, Anyone can play along and post weekly updates too!
Goals for this week are:
* Spend less money on food outside the home
* Try to prepare more meals from scratch instead of using convenience foods.
You know - I never even saw it that way. See that's why I need you guys - I can't see the forest for the threes sometimes :)
I am also thinking of putting up a weekly update on my other blog if goals for the week and I went towards achieving them - some days will be better than others, Anyone can play along and post weekly updates too!
Goals for this week are:
* Spend less money on food outside the home
* Spend less money on trams by walking to work.
Good luck and I hope it works out for you!
Love the new theme and the new you :)
Can we all make next year the year for losing a ton of weight between us.
certain people [moi included] will be much happier when their least favourite profile appears in pictures.
We could form a BAPXS offshoot group or set up a Mult group for this? If other people really want to make a go of it ....
I agree with what everyone else has said. What good is it to give to others if you sacrifice your most basic necessities. After all, a friend that expects gifts and presents to be your friend isn't a friend at all but a ummmm maybe perhaps a gigillo. ANd I haven't seen any of those in these parts.
I hadn't seen any of those around here since my last partner (no not Mr Bears - the previous one).
I guess to be perfectly honest I got so much of a buzz from giving gifts that its *me* I had to convince - not you guys. You are my friends and will, I hope always be. Part of being a friend is telling me when to pull my head in too :)
I'm the one who hates doing this - you all understand the necessity. I'm the one who doesn't want to have to make this necessity. So it seems every time I put a plea out for understanding - its actually ME that needs to understand.
That doesn't work grammatically and seems quite self-centred - but I hope you understand what I'm trying to say.
Anyway its been a loooong day in front of the computer and I'm about to trudge off home :)
That was going to be my suggestion as well! Multiply could be the easiet
Understand that one quite well!! Things look logical and well thought out on paper; but you just don't really want to go along with it. So, you keep saying it to yourself and slowly watch yourself change. I'm still doing that on the housework front. Okay...well, that's my take on what you were saying anyway. Let me know if I was WAY off base, does tend to happen. lol
Mel, sweetheart, I have actually expected this for a while - since you've first told us how much this move will cost you financially!
I will send a mail to the list and ask whether we can postpone TGGT to 2010, because it was you and me who started the idea and I want you to be with us!
I can see how hard this is going to be for you and you do not have to apologise for ANYTHING!!!!
We've started to talk about visiting each other a few years back already and I know we've both been serious about it. I know how much you were looking forward to it, and I've been looking forward to it just as much, but what's another year?
After the concert on Sunday I was talking with a few people and we've just discussed travelling. One of the ladies said she'd been travelling a lot less and was feeling fine with staying at home but that there were still two or three destinations she'd like to see. Well, there is one in particular that *I* still wish to see and that's Australia and possibly New Zealand! Whether that is in 2010 or 2011 - who cares? As long as I can get there still :-))
So - you've made the decision, which was a wise one, because you need to look after yourself first! and now I just think you'll be able to make it a year later - which is just as fine where I'm concerned. I don't think you've given up on the idea, have you?
You never know what happens in life! You can get there more times than you care to meet!
I know that I've been knocked down financially by some stupid things happening, and then there's nothing but buckle down and get through it! You won't let it sit on your back for a long time, I know that for sure! It's a tough lesson to learn, and even when you have learned it, there are still some things happening sometimes that will throw you off course.
Got it in one Shawn !!!!!
There is absolutely no way I was going to ask for this! And if people have already made plans and given notice of leave etc etc them please go ahead with it this year.
Yes I am very very serious about visiting, that is what has made this such a very difficult decision for me. I'll see how 2009 goes for me - but if I can stick with my goals or even exceed them (in a financial sense) then I think I could justify the added debt for 2010.
Hugs and thanks for being so understanding :)
Mel, let me state this more simply than I have done before...
having you as a friend is gift enough for me.
And the same here to you! You have enriched my life immeasurably just by being you and being my fiend, I mean friend.
That's so cruel! LOL.
Ah well, I call you Minion, I suppose I can let you call me Fiend!
Oh, Mel, I've been in this boat all year. In fact, at times I think I was barely treading water behind the boat! LOL I haven't had the funds to send gifts to all my lovely friends. The only real exception has been in my RR group where we have agreed to send birthday gifts to each other. So, 3 times a year, I panic over what will go in the package and how I'll afford it! That said, I have been better about picking up bits of the packagesa little at a time so I don't have to do it all at once. BUT, I have times when I'm unable to send packages on time simply because I can't afford the postage! I did finally get Jeff to get a part time job so we are staying afloat at the moment. I already know I'll be back at the amusement park next summer in an attempt to pay off more debt. Can't wait to check out everything on your new blog!
Yep I know how tough you've been doing it Laura :( I really hope things start looking up for you sometime soon !!!! You've certainly earned a better life ....
Thanks, Mel. We're actually used to it now and have gotten used to not doing much of anything. BUT, we're making it and that's the important thing!
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